Impotent Bayern Fail to Score in 5 Goal Defeat

18 Feb

Porter plays Ian through

  • Passing football rewarded with victory
  • Renwick keep first competitive clean sheet of the season
  • Cromie Joel makes an impressive debut

Renwick bounced back from their defeat to arch-rival Derryvolgie by recording an impressive 5-0 victory. The Elmwood team approached the game confidently having also scored five in a friendly against Bayern Eunuchs two weeks ago and were pleased to improve upon that result in this week’s competitive fixture by keeping a clean sheet. Gareth Smith returned at centre-back to play alongside Andy Lynch whilst Porter and Mitchell started on the wings in a 4-4-2 formation. Promising youngster Cromie Joel was handed a start in the centre of midfield where he partnered the more experienced Andy McKelvey. Coachwell had already indicated he wouldn’t be present until the second half but Morrison was surprised to only have 11 players present for kick-off and refused to comment after the game on whether the four latecomers would face club disciplinary proceedings.

McKelvey bossed the midfield on one leg

Renwick had the lion’s share of possession

Mitchell winning the ball

12 minutes after the game began a quick throw from Ian Buchanan found Joel Cromie inside the box who scored with first time volley low to the keeper’s right. This was an ideal start for the Donegal man whose partnership with McKelvey’s strength and poise dominated the centre of the park throughout the first half. Joel started the move from which Renwick doubled the lead skipping past an opponent in his own half before playing the ball down the right flank for Porter. The ball was then played into the feet of McCavery who squared the ball to Ian whose powerful shot deflected off the onrushing defender into the bottom righthand corner leaving the keeper stranded.

Renwick were really begining to find their stride playing the ball beautifully along the deck and it wasn’t long before another attack down the right wing yielded a third goal. Buchanan made a run into the channel and crossed to provide Mark with an easy tap in at the back post. In the 36th minute the team in black were fortunate to retain 11 men on the pitch as the Ethiopians (HT: SWS) used their pace to counter attack swiftly, last-man Lynch came across to tackle and completely failed to connect with the ball. Bizarrely the Eunuch’s ref told the players to continue much to the relief of the Bready defender, if the Renwick Pundit was superstitious I would suggest that it was because he was wearing the former skipper’s jersey. Otherwise Andy L gave a very solid defensive performance but will have been disappointed not to have scored a free header from a corner at the other end a few minutes later. Bayern survived another good corner delivery when Gareth Smith’s free header was cleared off the line but they failed to learn from the mistakes in their own area.  From the next set piece Renwick’s prolific centre-back was given another opportunity and made the score 4-0 before the interval.


At the break Morrison made sweeping changes with Cromie, Buchanan, Mitchell and Porter leaving the pitch whilst Ben Hanna took over as referee. Carson came on to the right wing, McCaughan on the left, Aicken and Blackwell in centre midfield whilst Hawthorne joined the strike force. Renwick failed to impose themselves on the game in the same way as they had dominated the first half but the Eunuchs could only respond with long hopeful balls aimed at their quick strikers. Michael Hawthorne had a well-finished goal controversially disallowed for offside and McCullough had to produce a save to keep out a sweetly hit Bayern freekick.

The lead was extended to five by Robert McCaughan whose pace had tortured his opposite number on several occasions. Hanna had been relieved of refereeing duties and  found the left winger with his throw, Rob skipped round the right back and placed the shot inside the right post. A few minutes later James was forced to use his feet to take the ball from the toes of the Eunuch striker but this was one of the last threats to the his goal. The last few minutes were fairly uneventful apart from Renwick’s marauding left back missing an opportunity at the back post. A five goal win was a fair reflection of Renwick’s dominance and the defence was delighted to keep their first competitive clean sheet of the season.  The title may now be beyond them but the Elmwood team still have important fixtures to play and all squad members will be keen to mount a strong finish despite several tricky fixtures remaining.

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Lynch is so quick it’s a blur

Man of the Match: Ian Buchanan

Renwick House: McCullough, Morrison, Smith, Lynch, Hanna, Porter, Cromie, McKelvey, Mitchell, Buchanan, McCavery Subs: Blackwell, McCaughan, Hawthorne, Carson, Aicken

Scorers: Cromie, Buchanan, McCavery, Smith, McCaughan

Thanks to Rosemary and Heather for the photos.

2 Responses to “Impotent Bayern Fail to Score in 5 Goal Defeat”

  1. Jingle February 20, 2010 at 1:58 pm #

    this is very dynamic and beautiful post.
    love the game in motion…

    timeless photos,
    elegant writing!

  2. Peter March 10, 2010 at 4:13 pm #

    Is last week’s Law Society result just being swept under the carpet?!

    Or are you lot trying to cover-up a legitimate Ben Hanna goal?!!

    Or is the match report hovering in the same part of cyberspace as the SWS Ministers match write-up?!?!


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