Bayern Eunuchs Frustrated by Renwick Victory

4 Feb

Apologies to non-sports fans. We promise that AK will return to other matters imminently.

Ian Buchanan doubles Renwick’s lead with a sublime strike

In the first game of the post-Dunwoody era, Mark McCavery captained Renwick  to an impressive 6-1 friendly victory. The humourously-named Bayern Eunuchs were the sixth team in a row to be defeated by last years Belfast Superleague runner-ups. Manager Morrison, whose contract ends this summer, was missing due to an interview which he confirmed may decide where he is next season. Chris Carson started in his place whilst Michael Hawthorne took the former captain’s position but the famous no.7 jersey was handed on to Robert McCaughan in accordance with Philip’s wishes. Gareth Smith was required for Irish League duty and Renwick were also without Gavin Unavailableforselectionwell which led to Andy Lynch dropping into centre-back and McKelvey partnering Porter in midfield.


Pre-match prayer


Renwick’s new captain in action

The breakthrough came as the result of a spectacular 50 yard pass from the right-back position as Carson picked out McCaughan’s run. Robert earned his the honour of the seven jersey as he lifted the ball high over the oncoming keeper and landed in the back of the net. Shortly afterwards he had to be substituted for Philip Aicken after he was left hobbling by a heavy tackle from a Eunuch defender. The lead was then doubled by a classic Buchanan strike from outside the box as he skipped past two defenders before putting the ball in the top corner, past the flailing keeper.


McCaughan gave the opposite right-back a torrid afternoon


Rob’s injury led to Philip taking to the pitch
Philip and Michael provided valuable composure to the team

Ben on a powerful run

Renwick continued to have chances but the next goal went to the team in white. A fortunate ricochet allowed the generally impotent Eunuch strike force to pull a goal back as the pacy striker put the ball low to the keeper’s right. Despite more chances for the Elmwood team the score remained very close until Andy McKelvey scored his frst ever Renwick goal with a composed finish just before half-time.

Andy alongside the Eunuch scorer


Lynch had a solid game at centre back showing his great versatility


Ian on the ball as Michael makes a run


Half-time huddle

After the break Renwick continued to play composed football with good passing throughout the midfield and skilful link upon the right flank between Carson and Hawthorne. The game was put beyond doubt by another goal from Buchanan, this time created by Mark whose barren spell looked set to continue. The new captain’s fears of a third consecutive goaless game were ended as he pounced on a header flicked on byAndy McKelvey. Michael Mitchell replaced Ben at left back and cleared the ball off the line after McCullough impersonated David James from a corner. The game ended with McCavery reaching the 30 goal mark for the season, burying a header from a well-struck Mitchell corner, who was clearly throwing down the gauntlet to Ben Hanna in the contest for the no.3 jersey. Renwick had other chances which could have resulted in a greater margin of victory but 6-1 was probably a fair reflection of the game. Morrison will be keen for his side to repeat the performance when they face the Eunuchs in a competive tie in two weeks time.

Thanks again to Bob Parkes for the top notch photography!


Mitchell takes a throw-in


Ben as ref


Porter had a very good game in the centre of the park and passed the ball well


Hawthorne fighting for the ball


Victorious Renwick side: Chris Carson, Philip Aicken, Mark McCavery (Captain), Mark Porter, Michael Hawthorne, Steven McCollum, James McCullough, Andrew Morrison (Manager), Ian Buchanan, Robert McCaughan, Andy Lynch, Michael Mitchell, Ben Hanna, Andy McKelvey

Man of the Match

An excellent performance in centre midfield from P10. McKelvey fought hard for the ball and linked well with other team mates and scored a lovely goal.

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5 Responses to “Bayern Eunuchs Frustrated by Renwick Victory”

  1. Jonny February 5, 2010 at 12:05 am #

    Are you sure it was Andy’s first goal? I’m fairly sure I can remember him scoring before …

  2. Joel February 5, 2010 at 1:25 pm #

    Me too. And if Shall We Sing wasn’t blocked by the Civil Service’s web filter I would go and get the link. A low strike from outside the box if I remember correctly.

    If the reference to “impotent eunuch’s strike force” was intentional – genius.
    Just can’t be too sure with this blog sometimes…

    And finally…someone played in trackies!! Impotent indeed.

  3. Renwick Pundit February 5, 2010 at 2:10 pm #

    Thanks, yea it was deliberate. It’s just going to be hard to come up with more jokes when the fixture is replayed in two weeks time.

    P10 himself claimed that it was his first ever goal although this was contended at the time of writing. If you were him it would be hard to remember all your achievements!

  4. Philip February 5, 2010 at 6:49 pm #

    Andy, refresh your memory lad! That’s at least his third. He scored one against Derry in year two and I’m almost positive he got one last year too.

  5. Andy McKelvey February 5, 2010 at 8:04 pm #

    I can confirm that this was not my first ever Renwick goal but it was certainly my first of the season – they don’t come very often so I completely understand why you might think that it was my first time on a scoresheet. Thanks very much for the MOTM as well – very generous. Great performance lads – same again next week!

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