Single Guys Aren’t Busy

14 Jan

In a very interesting and thought-provoking article Bob Thune contends that unmarried men aren’t busy and can’t use busyness as an excuse for not being fully involved in their church.

“Two years ago at the Coram Deo men’s retreat, I made a statement that has lived in infamy: “If you’re single, you aren’t busy.” I was tired of single men using the excuse of “busyness” to avoid serving others and participating in the mission. Some of the single dudes took offense. After all, we have many single men at Coram Deo who are med students, law students, etc. They are busting their chops studying and trying to survive the pressure-cooker of post-graduate work. So isn’t “busyness” a valid excuse? My answer: no.
Most of us think of “busyness” in terms of hours devoted to a specific job, role, or task. In this sense, single guys who have actual jobs or who attend actual schools may be as busy as anyone else. But that’s not the criteria I’m using.
Instead, think of busyness as the amount of your time you control. When you are single, you are in control of your schedule. You decide what to devote your time to. When you are married, suddenly you’re no longer autonomous in your time management; you have to factor your spouse’s needs/wants/concerns into the equation. Once you have a child, things really change. Have more than two kids, and you rarely have a minute to yourself. Even your “free time” is devoted first and foremost to the other human beings who depend on you. Which means you play a lot less golf and a lot more peek-a-boo.”

Read full article.

Another blogger commenting on this article wrote:

“it’s not a time issue, it’s a priority issue. So instead of using the phrase, “Oh, I just didn’t have time to get such and such done”, why not just be more honest and say, “I have chosen to not make that a priority right now”.

Would that be a more honest answer for when we aren’t as involved as we should be in church life? When we don’t pray as we ought or study our Bibles as we should?


2 Responses to “Single Guys Aren’t Busy”

  1. David Duly January 17, 2010 at 4:39 pm #

    True, painfully true. Discipline and placing Christ as King. We are all part of the Church, we all have to work to build it up.

  2. Chris Somerville February 15, 2010 at 12:26 pm #

    It’s curious that there is only one comment to this (prior to mine). Are people trying to prove they are busy by not commenting?

    Allow me to put forward an antithesis to “being single allows you to give more time to the church”:

    “If there are two of you, you can do twice as much at church.”

    When you get married you may have a more legitimate sounding excuse, but what you actually have are more skills, strenghts and options for serving in the church. No one wanted me to make them dinner before I was married. My wife’s cooking, however, has enabled us together to provide a ministry I could not do alone.

    Also, if you are working for a degree/doctorate etc, don’t assume this is not work for God. You will need to commit time and energy to it, but we need Christian doctors and lawyers. Similarly, if you are clearing supermarket trolleys, this is also work for God. Do it well, whatever you do, and don’t let it be an excuse to deprive the church of your talents.

    Greeting from Auld Reekie.

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