A Christmassy Post….

23 Dec

As you all know, i’m a big fan of my jokes….however for some reason, when I deliver the amazing punchline, my laughter is not always matched by that of my audience. So, to combat this, i’ve compiled a list of some of my top Christmas Cracker jokes to get you all in the mood for opening those crackers come Christmas Day!!!

So sit back, relax and get ready to laugh, also please feel free to leave a comment about funny Christmas jokes you’ve heard.

1. What is Santa’s favourite pizza?

One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.

2. On which side do chickens have the most feathers?

The outside.

3. What kind of paper likes music?

(W)rapping paper.

4. What’s white and goes up?

A confused snowflake.

5. What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?

Annette.

6. Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop?

It blew away.

7. What’s furry and minty?

A polo bear.

8. How do snowmen get around?

They ride an icicle.

9. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy.

10. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?

Lost.

1.How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?

Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !

2.What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month ?

The letter “D” !

3.What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?

Claustrophobia !

4.Who delievers cat’s Christmas presents ?

Santa Paws!

5.Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?

Because it soots him!

6. What’s brown and sweet and glides around an ice rink?
Bourneville and Dean

7. What do you call a short sighted dinosaur?
A do-you-think-he-saw-us!

8. What do you call a man with brown paper trousers?
Russell

9. Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
He’s a fun guy to be with.

10. Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed?
He had low elf-esteem.

11. What’s the longest word in the English language?
Smiles, because there is a “mile” between the first and the last letters.

Hope you all enjoyed those, now it just leaves me to say that I wish you all many blessings at this time of year of family and celebration.May you know peace and rest as you spend time with your loved ones, be thankful in giving and recieving. Merry Christmas every one.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this.” Isaiah 9:6-7

Advertisements

3 Responses to “A Christmassy Post….”

  1. Catherine December 24, 2009 at 3:51 pm #

    Wat do u call a short sighted dinosaur’s dog?
    Do-you-think-he-saw-us Rex

    What do u call an Irish man who bounces off the walls?
    Rick O’Shea

  2. Peter December 24, 2009 at 5:26 pm #

    I liked the chicken feather one

  3. Hannah December 24, 2009 at 8:14 pm #

    lol love the old man cartoon!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s