Renwick House 11-1 Church of Ireland

3 Dec
  • Impressive scoreline, but room for improvement
  • Tim McCollum marks debut with a brace
  • Ben Hanna gets himself in a bit of a muddle*

Renwick returned to the Ozone this week with a very satisfying 11-1 victory over local rivals Church of Ireland. As usual COI managed to be late, leaving the Renwick squad with an extended warm up session. When the Anglicans eventually did arrive it was apparent that they were taking the match about as seriously as the pre-season encounter, a game which Renwick dominated throughout. A much brighter affair as well. While talk about drawing positions out of a hat was heard amongst the squad, the manager and captain were keen to stress the importance of not losing focus and shooting from anywhere before kickoff, as had happened the previous week.

Lining up with a slightly altered starting 11, Renwick had plenty of reasons to be confident. Mark Porter kept his place in midfield, partnering Andrew Lynch with Ian Buchanan in his usual attacking role. Gavin Blackwell pulled out of the match day squad just hours before kick off, citing work commitments. Robert Cromie made his third appearance of the season in place of Robert McCaughan on the left wing, who was also unavailable to due to “work”. The priorities of the Pembroke residents has been called into questions, with rumours about events at the Odyssey swirling round..

Renwick finally got the match underway at around 2.30, playing into the “sun” in the first half. When you talk about making a strong start, it doesn’t get much stronger than scoring in your first attack and inside 30 seconds. From a COI goal kick, the ball came the left side of Renwick’s half, and Ben Hanna made his way to the byline before crossing the ball. What happened afterwards was the subject of great post-match discussion, but after much deliberation the official version of events** has been decided as the following: after leaving Hanna’s foot, the ball (which was making its way towards the goal) struck the defender, sending it into a slow looping arc over the keeper before dropping in the net at the back post, and thus the goal has been attributed to Hanna. As part of his celebration the defender dived in the puddle that had formed over the centre circle in a Klinsmann-esque fashion.Weird, but it would be a contender for celebration of the season, if such an award existed.

Seeing as there are no photos of what actually happened…

Following this Church of Ireland had a period of sustained period of pressure, with several corners which could have easily led to a goal. Renwick were losing the ball in midfield time after time and a COI goal did not seem far away. Renwick weathered the storm though and soon scored a second. Mark McCavery made space for himself on the right and the ball came into the box for Ian Buchanan to get a head on it. The ball came off the far post and rolled along the line before finally crossing it and confirming the goal. Even a second goal wasn’t enough to calm Renwick nerves and Church of Ireland still managed to dominate, winning every 50/50 ball and generally seeming to be in control. It was not until the third goal that Renwick finally settled into some sort of rhythm. From a Philip Dunwoody corner the ball dropped in the box and Gareth Smith was there to smash into the net from two yards. It was a very preventable goal from a COI perspective, and something their defence, which has conceded an average of over 6 goals per game, will need to address.

After this Renwick started to get the ball on the ground and pass it about, and as the half went on became increasingly dominant. Goals four and five came from Mark Porter and Robert Cromie. For Porter’s, Andrew Lynch found space on the left wing, cut inside, look up and saw Porter free, who hit a low drive in a crowded box into the back of the net. Towards the end of the half Ian Buchanan played a delightful ball into the winger’s path and without breaking stride, he took one touch and with an early right footed shot from the edge of the box made it five. Despite being more or less straight at the keeper he was beaten by the pace of the shot. Shortly afterward the “referee” blew for half time.

Like something out of Fifa

McCullough had a relatively quiet day as keeper, although did have to make a few saves from low hard shots near the posts. Because of Church of Ireland’s poor marking, McCullough was able to distribute from his hands more so than usual, and this aided the passing approach Renwick were aiming for. It was arguably the worst half of football Renwick have played this season, despite scoring five goals. A lack of communication between defence and midfield led to problems, but this was resolved at the interval.

Morrison had an unfamiliar looking bench to choose substitutes from, with the combined Belfast Super League experience of the three players amounting to 0 minutes. Tim McCollum and Michael Mitchell came on in place of Mark Porter and Robert Cromie. Both Cromie and Porter had pleasing first halves, getting amongst the goals and making a nuisence of themselves in the final third. With the match was effectively won by this stage, McCullough went outfield swapping places with the ever versitile Lynch to take up a midfield role. He was joined there by Tim McCollum, while Mitchell went out to the left wing. Go on Tim! Cromie officiated the second half.

Rolleston and Mitchell, both graduates from the Regent House soccer acadmey

The order in which the second half goals were scored is far from clear in my head, so if anyone knows any better please comment. Tim McCollum managed to score two goals, one with each foot. The first was from an corner floated in by Ian Buchanan which nobody dealt with, leaving McCollum the easy task of slotting home from inside the box. The second came in similar circumstances, the ball falling at his feet and allowing him to shoot low and hard from about 20 yards. The ball went just inside the post, leaving the keeper with no chance of getting to it. McCavery’s only goal of the game came via a long sweeping cross from the left by debutant Michael Mitchell. McCavery managed a diving header at the back post which just about creeped in. A very quiet day for McCavery who will surely have a bigger role to play in future games. Steve McCollum took his tally for the season to two with a cheeky poke from inside a conjested box that squeezed past the post. His younger brother Tim got the assist on that one. Ian Buchanan was on the scoresheet again with a simple looking goal, a low curling shot that was probably harder than it looked. Finally, Michael Mitchell latched on to a through ball from James McCullough and with the keeper rushing out to meet him calmly finished from wide on the left.

With about 20 minutes to go in the half Ian Buchanan came off for Mark Porter, and Alistair Rolleston jogged on to become Renwick’s 22nd player this season, with Hanna giving way. With the light quickly fading Renwick were keen to get the match over with and concentration levels dropped slightly. To their credit Church of Ireland stuck to their task until the end and were rewarded for their hard work with a goal. Coming from their right winger, the ball made its way into the centre of the pitch where two COI players were left unmarked and despite the best efforts of the defence, managed to score. Most of the Renwick team were still at the other end of a pitch from a previous attack, and for the second week running, Renwick have conceded a clean sheet late late on. As disappointing as this is, it hardly matters when you have scored 11.

Cromie has a relatively uneventful time as referee, giving out a few free kicks for some fairly shocking tackles from Renwick, particularly against Porter and McCullough who should both be glad this league has yet to issue the referees with cards. COI survived a penalty claim, when McCullough was brought down on the edge of the box, but the tackle was adjudged to have been just outside. Mitchell was agonisingly close to scoring from the free kick, hitting the bit that holds the net up behind the far post. Strong performances were noted throughout the team, although we collectively were made to look very good by our opponents.

Cromie ref and crummy ref. Boo.

Church of Ireland had very little to offer throughout, and a scoreline like this is what was expected of Renwick. COI are the weakest team in the league and Renwick still have hard games to come. Next week it is the Bar Staff, who Renwick overcame in a tough match last year. Gavin Absentwell scored two in that game, and will be seeking to repeat this on his anticipated return to the action.

A quick round of of other events in the BSL: Donegal Rangers beat World XI 6-4, MGT narrowly defeated QUBNISA 2-1, Derry had their game cancelled yet again, so that sadly means to Pie action this week. It has transpired that the result from the Derry game was merely late, and the result was a 7-0 win for the team from Londonderry. Still no Pie cam though. Law Society impressed again with a 9-0 thumping of next week’s oponents Bar Staff. DV beat the Eunuchs 6-3, and on the adjacent pitch BBC crushed Union 8 goals to nil. So all that leaves the table looking something like this. Renwick sit 3rd, three points off top spot. However the teams behind have games in hand, so that may alter things. All we can do is beat what is put in front of us and get on with it. Next week will mark the season being more than half over, in terms of the league anyway.

There’s only one team in Elmwood!

The goalmouths were in very poor condition

A rare COI attack

Man of the Match

Very very hard to pick a winner this week, but after much agonising the author has decided to award it to Mark Porter this week. Scored a goal and was generally impressive in midfield, making good runs at defender, and causing the defence all sorts of problems.

The conditions were not great for photography


McCullough, Morrison, G.Smith, S.McCollum, Hanna, Dunwoody, Porter, Lynch, Buchanan, Cromie, McCavery. Subs: Mitchell, T.McCollum, Rolleston

* Muddy Puddle

** The unofficial version of events states that it was clearly an own goal and Ben had little to do with it. Some doubt whether he was actually anywhere near it. Go on Tim.

Update: 50 Games commemerative shirts

For those who ordered the 50 games shirts, there have now dispatched from the supplier and should be available for collection from early next week. If you haven’t yet paid they cost £21, to be paid to Andrew Morrison. Thanks.


13 Responses to “Renwick House 11-1 Church of Ireland”

  1. ben December 3, 2009 at 9:32 pm #

    i dont suit flowing blonde hair…

  2. Phil December 3, 2009 at 9:53 pm #

    Lads, shocking glaring error of judgement this week, Andy Lynch was outstanding, outfield and infield!!

  3. Andy Mo December 3, 2009 at 11:42 pm #

    The decision wasn’t taken lightly Phil, though I hear what you’re saying.

  4. Hannah December 3, 2009 at 11:48 pm #

    photos definitely not as good as last weeks andy…=P

  5. Ali G December 4, 2009 at 10:40 am #

    Yes apologies for the photos, bad light and an unfamiliar camera on which I couldn’t figure out how to adjust the exposure time or turn off the flash resulted in some below-par shots…

  6. Steve December 4, 2009 at 12:44 pm #

    ….its ‘come on Tim’ not ‘go on Tim’….

  7. Peter December 4, 2009 at 3:03 pm #

    Well said Steve!

    Couldn’t disagree more Ben. You’ve never looked better, I think! You start growing your hair and I’ll look into getting you a retro Spurs shirt from somewhere! Actually, I’ll get a German one since no-one likes Spurs!

    Oh, and for the benefit of future reports: “the bit that holds the net up behind the far post” is called a ‘stanchion’! :-D You don’t want Joel on here calling you schoolboys again!!!

    Another good result. Love the pic of the twinkle-toed debutant Ali G!

  8. James December 4, 2009 at 4:21 pm #

    Ali McCollum once argued the opposite.

    “The meaning has been mixed up since Camp, the chant, “Go on Tim” relates back to when Tim Henman was still a professional Tennis Player and this chant would be used to rouse up the British favourite as he struggled to stay in various Competitions, mainly Wimbledon.”
    (Facebook comment on Mark Coulter’s post on Tim’s wall, 30th July 22:15)

    Although other sources seem to indicate that “Come on Tim” was infact the primary chant at Wimbledon.

    Personally I would subscribe to the liberal school of thought that allows for the use of “Come on Tim” and “Go on Tim” in reference to Tim McCollum.

  9. Joel L December 4, 2009 at 4:56 pm #

    “the bit that holds the net up behind the far post”
    School boy error.

    “Go on Tim”
    Nursery School error.

    Some serious schooling needs done.

    typical number 6

  10. Peter December 4, 2009 at 4:56 pm #

    I’ll not fall out with anyone over one word (not on this occasion anyway!), but Steve and the Daily Mail are right. The famous Henman chant was “Come on…”

    Anyway, let’s not overlook the two goals in all this coming and going!!!

  11. James December 4, 2009 at 5:35 pm #

    Number 6?

    Yea let’s not forget Tim’s goals which I think makes him the current outstanding candidate for one game wonder. Although hopefully he’ll be ruled out of that category before the end of the season by more appearances for the side.

  12. Andy December 4, 2009 at 5:41 pm #

    Whilst writing this, I did wonder why when I typed “go on tim” into google, on the first page was a link to this very website, from the enniskillen go team. Further research showed that the phrase was in fact come on tim, but I decided to leave it, and even had it as the working title of this post, before a last minute change.

    No doubt this page will soon make its way up the google rankings for “go on tim” anway.

    As for stanchions, having read this,, i now feel thoroughly schooled.

    Go on Tim.

  13. Ali G December 4, 2009 at 8:57 pm #

    At Skills I formed the impression that “Go on Tim” referred to the Tim McCollum we all know and love, while “Come on Tim” referred to a little know English tennis player.

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