Happy Valentine’s Day

14 Feb

Last year I gave you a semi-serious St.V-Day post. This year such pretenses have been abandoned and instead you can enjoy the following Christian chat-up lines.

1. “Nice Bible.”

2. “Is this pew taken?”

3. “For you I would slay two Goliaths”

4. “I would go through more than Job for you”

5. “You are so unblemished that I would sacrifice you.”

6. “What, this here? oh.. thats my new ESV Study Bible – it’s a little bigger but I can handle the extra spiritual and physical weight.”

Steelo and ESV

Steelo

8. “Shall we tithe?”

9. “The word says ‘Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry’; how about dinner?”

10. “I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.”

11. “I can be your Boaz.”

12. “My spiritual gift is my good looks… it lifts peoples spirits

13. “Bible-gateway happens to be my homepage.”

14. “What’s an Xbox?”

Confused Andy Mo and Xbox

Andy Mo

15. “Bathsheba had nothing on you”

16. “So, my parents are home, you wanna come over?”

17. “It’s obvious to me that you sprouted from the good kinda soil…”

18. “If I had to choose between a romantic date with you or a night with the fellas… I would sit at home and read my Bible.”

19. “Hmmm… you really have to watch out for that man of lawlessness.. but dont worry, I’m not him, so you’re safe with me.”

20. “Not a big fan of your last name, but that’s cool, I can change that.”

21.”You float my ark.”

22. “Is your name Grace? Because Baby you’re irresistable.

23. “Now i know why Solomon had 700 wives… Because he never met you.”

24. “How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?”

25. “Let’s say, hypothetically, you were married. I might send your husband to the front line against the Amorites”

26. “I consider myself to be fisher of women. This would be referred to as ‘casting my net’.”

 

I think my favourites are No.s 20 and 24.

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4 Responses to “Happy Valentine’s Day”

  1. rob dp February 15, 2009 at 11:29 pm #

    13. ”Bible-gateway happens to be my homepage.”
    um yea it is. because it was too much hassle to have it in my favourites.

  2. Steelo February 16, 2009 at 5:18 pm #

    See you’ve lost your GSOH in the past year anyway!

  3. Erin and Amy February 23, 2009 at 12:22 pm #

    *Hand the girl Warren and Ruths book*

    She reads the title with speculation… “How about going out”?!

    It finally worked james……….. lol

  4. Erin and Amy February 23, 2009 at 12:23 pm #

    yeah… we also don’t understand half of them…………

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