"Funny As" KJV Video

20 Feb

“Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel, and will take away the remnant of the house of Jeroboam, as a man taketh away dung, till it be all gone.” (1 Kings 14:10, KJV)

If only Dad would preach more like this!


15 Responses to “"Funny As" KJV Video”

  1. Alastair McCollum February 20, 2008 at 8:26 pm #

    I’m sure I speak for every one when I say……..how long does James spend on YouTube finding all these videos?! First Protestant Gorillas now this?!

  2. Daniel Ritchie February 20, 2008 at 11:22 pm #

    I say that before it was so funny…I take it that guy does not use a lavatory.

    He sounds like one of those conspiracy theory KJV-onlyites.

    Let’s consider some of his claims about the NKJV; he says it “removes” certain words:

    1. “hell” actually, the NKJV uses “hades” in many places because that is what it says in the Greek. Moreover, the AV’s usage of “hell” instead of hades has been used by Jehovah witnesses to justify annihalitionism.

    2. “damnation” that was probably a reference to 1 Cor. 11 where Paul says he that eats or drinks in an unworthy manner brings “judgment” (NKJV) upon himself. Not sure what could possibly be wrong with this?

  3. James McCullough February 21, 2008 at 5:54 pm #

    Very little time on You Tube itself actually as I tend to find these from other people or websites and pinch them for DMFWS. Everything is research!

  4. James McCullough February 21, 2008 at 5:56 pm #

    Daniel: My favourite claim to consider of his is that the translators of the NIV all pee sitting down!

  5. Daniel Ritchie February 21, 2008 at 6:44 pm #

    How does he know this?

  6. Anonymous February 22, 2008 at 3:04 pm #

    i saw a bit of Baby Bible Bashers on
    Channel 4 Thursday 14 February. only in america..
    dont forget theres also http://www.godtube.com/
    complaining about the ESV

  7. Anonymous February 23, 2008 at 10:32 pm #

    That Guy is spot on…..NIV is a perversion of Gods infalliable word…people need to know about Hell/Hades……before the rapture will occur

  8. James Scott February 24, 2008 at 10:10 pm #

    Just a sugestion james but what about a wee poll for the peoples prefered translations?

  9. Daniel Ritchie February 25, 2008 at 9:39 am #

    If you are going to call a translation of God’s word a perversion, then at least be man enough not to hide behind the name “anonymous”. Its sad that so many Christians go around the internet bashing other people, yet have not even got the guts to tell the rest of us who they actually are. And besides, the NIV does tell people about hell/hades. Though it says nothing about the secret rapture as this is not a doctrine taught in Scripture: “For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord.” (1 Thess. 4:16-17) There is not much secret about that is there?

  10. Abi February 26, 2008 at 7:39 pm #

    very edifying james……….

  11. Anonymous February 26, 2008 at 10:03 pm #

    The NIV perverts the deity of Jesus Christ!

    I TIMOTHY 3:16: The clearest verse in the Bible proclaiming that Jesus Christ was God. The King James Bible (KJB) reads, “And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: GOD WAS MANIFEST IN THE FLESH. . .” The King James says, plainly, “GOD was manifest in the flesh”. The NIV reads, “HE appeared in a body”. The NIV “twists” “GOD” to “HE”. “HE appeared in a body”? So What? Everyone has “appeared in a body”! “He” is a pronoun that refers to a noun or antecedent. There is no antecedent in the context! The statement does NOT make sense! The NIV subtilty (see Genesis 3:1) perverts I Timothy 3:16 into utter nonsense!

    PHILIPPIANS 2:6: The KJB again, clearly declares the deity of Jesus Christ: “Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery TO BE EQUAL WITH GOD” The NIV reads, “Who, being in very nature God, DID NOT CONSIDER EQUALITY WITH GOD something to be grasped,”. The NIV again subtitly perverts the deity of Jesus Christ!

    The NIV perverts the virgin birth!

    LUKE 2:33: The King James Bible reads, “And JOSEPH and his mother marvelled at those things which were spoken of him.” The NIV reads, “The CHILD’S FATHER and mother marveled at what was said about him.” The “CHILD’S FATHER”? Was Joseph Jesus’s father? Not if you believe the virgin birth! Not if you believe John 3:16, that Jesus Christ was the Son of God! A subtil, “perversion” of the virgin birth. See also Luke 2:43.

    The NIV removes the blood of Jesus Christ!

    COLOSSIANS 1:14: The KJB reads, “In whom we have redemption THROUGH HIS BLOOD, even the forgiveness of sins:” The NIV reads, “In whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” The NIV rips out the precious words “THROUGH HIS BLOOD”! Friend, redemption is ONLY “THROUGH HIS BLOOD”. Hebrews 9:22, reads, “. . . without shedding of BLOOD is no remission.” That old song says, “What can wash away my sins, NOTHING BUT THE BLOOD OF JESUS!”

    The NIV perverts John 3:16 into a LIE!

    JOHN 3:16: The NIV reads, “For God so loved the world that he gave his ONE AND ONLY SON, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” Jesus was NOT “the one and only son” – Adam is called the “son of God” in Luke 3:38, there are “sons of God” in Job 1:6 and Christians are called “sons of God” in Phil 2:15, I John 3:2- but Jesus was the “ONLY BEGOTTEN SON”! By removing the critical word “BEGOTTEN” – The NIV perverts John 3:16 into a LIE! The NIV does the same in John 1:14, 1:18, and 3:18.

    The NIV perverts TRUTH into LIES!

    The NIV perverts Mark 1:2,3 into a LIE! The NIV reads “It is written in Isaiah the prophet: I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way-a voice of one calling in the desert, Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.” It is NOT written in Isaiah! “I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way” – is found in Malachi 3:1! The King James correctly reads: “As it is written in the PROPHETS, . . .” A better translation! Easier to read – BY A LIE!

    Psalms 119:160 says, “Thy word is TRUE. . .” John 17:17 says, “. . . thy word is TRUTH.” Titus 1:2 clearly says, “. . . God that CANNOT LIE” How could the God of Titus 1:2 be the God of Mark 1:2,3 in the NIV!? IT IS IMPOSSIBLE! For Hebrews 6:18 clearly declares, “. . . it was IMPOSSIBLE for God to LIE” It is impossible for the LIES in the NIV to be the words of GOD! Whose words are they? I’ll give you a hint – Jesus Christ calls him “A LIAR, and the father of it” in John 8:44!

    The NIV again openly LIES in 2 Samuel 21:19, “. . . Elhanan son of Jaare-Oregim the Bethlehemite killed Goliath the Gittite, who had a spear with a shaft like a weaver’s rod.” What 8-year-old doesn’t know that David killed Goliath?

    Romans 1:18-32 describes the “path to perversion” and verse 25, describes their decline, “Who changed the TRUTH of God into a LIE. . .”! Not surprisingly, The NIV perverts Romans 1:25 from “CHANGED the truth of God INTO a lie” to “EXCHANGED the truth of God FOR a lie”!

    The NIV and sexual perversion!

    Romans 1:26-32 also shows the “fruits” of “sowing” “. . . the TRUTH of God into a LIE. . .” Verses 26-27 says “FOR THIS CAUSE (vs 25 for “changing the TRUTH of God into a LIE”) God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, . . .”

    The last few years homosexuality and sexual perversion have “exploded” into the mainstream. Legislation is now pending making same-sex marriages legal. Books such as Heather Has Two Mommies and Daddy’s Roommate, promoting homosexuality, are in our schools. According to The Washington Post, bisexuality and homosexuality, are the “in thing” in our public schools. And even churches are now welcoming homosexuals and are even ordaining them in the ministry!

    A literary critic on the NIV translation was homosexual author Dr. Virginia Mollenkott. In Episcopal, Witness (June 1991, pp. 20-23), she admits, “My lesbianism has ALWAYS been a part of me. . .” To no surprise, “sodomite” is completely removed from the NIV. (Deut. 23:17, I Kings 14:24, 15:12, 22:46, II Kings 23:7) And of course, I Cor. 6:9, “. . . effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind. . .” is replaced with the non-offensive “. . . nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders. . .” Notice the NIV in I Cor. 6:9 does NOT condemn “homosexuals” or the “act of homosexuality” – but ONLY “homosexual OFFENDERS”.

  12. Philip Boles February 26, 2008 at 10:07 pm #

    The NIV “TAKETH AWAY” 64,576 words!

    Don’t look for the “mercyseat” in the NIV – GONE!
    Don’t look for “Jehovah” in the NIV – GONE!
    Don’t look for the “Godhead” in the NIV – GONE!

    The NIV removes wonderful Bible “terms” like remission, regeneration, impute, propitiation, new testament and many others!

    Despite God’s clear warnings about “taking away” from His words – the NIV removes 64,576 words! Over 8 percent of God’s word is “TAKETH AWAY”!

    That equals REMOVING the books of Ruth, Esther, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon, Lamentations, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Malachi, Colossians, I Thessalonians, II Thessalonians, I Timothy, II Timothy, Titus, Philemon, James, I Peter, II Peter, I John, II John, III John, Jude and more – COMBINED!!! The equivalence of ripping out OVER 30 BOOKS of the Bible!

    In case you think it’s insignificant words like “thee” and “thou”? The NIV removes major portions of at least 147 verses!

    Here’s a small (very small) sampling of words removed in the NIV!

    Matt. 6:13, “For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.”
    Matt. 15:8, “This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth”
    Matt. 19:9, “and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”
    Matt. 20:7, “and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive.”
    Matt. 20:16, “for many be called, but few chosen.”
    Matt. 20:22, “and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with”
    Matt. 25:13, “wherein the Son of Man cometh.”
    Matt. 27:35, “that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet They parted my garments among them and upon my vesture did they cast lots”
    Mark 6:11, “Verily I say unto you, it shall be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city.”
    Mark 10:21, “take up the cross.”
    Luke 1:28, “blessed art thou among women”
    Luke 4:4, “but by every word of God”
    Luke 4:8, “get thee behind me Satan”
    Luke 4:18, “he hath sent me to heal the broken hearted”
    Luke 11:2-4, “Our … which art in … Thy will be done, as in heaven so in earth… but deliver us from evil”
    John 1:27, “is preferred before me”
    John 3:13, “which is in heaven”
    John 3:15, “should not perish”
    John 11:41, “from the place where the dead was laid”
    John 16:16, “because I go to the Father”
    Acts 10:6, “he shall tell thee what thou oughtest to do”
    Acts 15:18, “Known unto God are all his works”
    Acts 20:24, “But none of these things move me”
    Acts 23:9, “let us not fight against God”
    Rom. 8:1, “who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit”
    Rom. 13:9, “Thou shalt not bear false witness”
    I Cor. 6:20, “and in your spirit which are God’s”
    I Cor. 11:24; “Take eat… broken”
    II Cor. 10:4, “but mighty through God”
    Gal. 3:1, “that you should not obey the truth”
    Eph. 5:30, “of his flesh, and of his bones”
    Phil. 3:16, “let us mind the same thing”
    I Tim. 6:5, “from such wthdraw thyself”
    Heb. 7:21, “after the order of Melchisedec”
    I Pet. 1:22, “through the Spirit”
    I Pet. 4:14, “on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified”
    I John 4:3, “Christ is come in the flesh”
    I John 5:13, “and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God”
    Rev. 1:11, “I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last”
    Rev. 5:14, “him that liveth for ever and ever”
    Rev. 14:5, “before the throne of God”
    Rev. 21:24, “of them which are saved”

    Jesus Christ says, in Luke 4:4, “. . . It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by EVERY WORD of God.” But not according to the NIV! In fact, the NIV even “TAKETH AWAY” the last half of Luke 4:4 – “BUT BY EVERY WORD OF GOD”! And Jesus Christ was quoting Deuteronomy 8:3 to Satan! Does the NIV PERversion seriously think the Lord Jesus Christ does NOT know Duet. 8:3???

    The LIES used to promote the NIV. . .

    LIE 1) The NIV “just” updates the “archaic” words and makes it “easier to understand”. Nothing is “really changed.
    FACT: The NIV denys the deity of Jesus Christ; the virgin birth; glorifies Satan; openly lie; removes 17 complete verses and 64,576 words!

    LIE 2) The NIV is easier to read and understand.
    FACT: According to a Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level research study, The King James Bible is by far the easiest! Out of 26 different categories – the King James graded easier in a whopping 23! In selected analysis, the KJB average grade level was 5.8 – the NIV was 8.4! (New Age Bible Versions, Riplinger, pp.195-209)

    LIE 3) Older and more reliable manuscripts have been discovered since the King James Bible.
    FACT: Dr. Sam Gipp writes, “The fact is, that the King James translators had ALL OF THE READINGS available to them that modern critics have available to them today.” (The Answer Book, Gipp, p.110) And furthermore, it is a well documented fact that 90 – 95 per cent of all readings agree with the King James Bible!

    LIE 4) The NIV is more accurate.
    FACT: The KJB is a literal word for word translation. When the translators had to add words for sentence structure they are in italics. The NIV uses “dynamic equivalence”. Rather than a word for word translation, they add, change and subtract to make the verse say what they “thought” it should! The Preface to the NIV even says, “. . .they have striven for more than a word-for-word translation. . .”

    “. . . ye have PERVERTED the words of the living God. . .”
    Jeremiah 23:36

    The New International

  13. Daniel Ritchie February 27, 2008 at 12:48 am #

    Mr Boles

    Your unresearched comments with regards to the New International Version are unbecomiing of a Christian; you need to look into this matter further. Let me offer an answer to the sensationalist rhetoric set forth here:

    1. 1 Tim. 3:16 the reason the NIV does not use the word “God” here is because some Greek manuscripts to not have it. It should be noted that the Latin Vulgate and John Wycliffe’s Bible agree with the NIV here. If this was a deliberate attempt to undermine Christ’s deity then why didn’t the translators remove ALL refernces to the deity of Christ in the Bible? Indeed, I could turn the accusation on its head and accuse the KJV of denying Christ’s humanity. But that would not be very fair would it.

    2. The NIV is actually more clear on the deity of Christ in Philippians 2:6 than the KJV is as it explicitly says that Christ did not have to grasp equality with God. This shows us the desperate efforts that KJV-onlyites will go to in order to discredit other versions.

    3. Luke 2:33 does not deny the virgin birth at all. According to this logic all texts which refer to Christ as the son of David are also heretical. Indeed the assertion which are friend makes here undermines the full humanity of Christ.

    4. Colossians 1:14 – the NIV simply follows the vast majority of Greek manuscripts in adopting this reading. Our friend reveals his lack of knowledge in his assertions here.

    5. John 3:16 can be legitimately rendered either way; the Greek word emphasises the uniqueness of Christ.

    6. As for Mark 1:2-3 since Micah and Isaiah’s ministries coincided, it is common for Biblical writer’s to call the writings of a minor prophet by the name of a major prophet. This can be proved by referring to Matthew 27:9 where the inspired writer says ‘Then was fulfilled what had been spoken by the prophet Jeremiah, saying, “And they took the thirty pieces of silver, the price of him on whom a price had been set by some of the sons of Israel,”‘ which is a quote from Zechariah 11:13, yet it is attributed to Jeremiah because he was the major prophet at the time.

    7. The reference to the person who slew Goliath in 2 Samuel 21:19 is referring to a different Goliath from the one David slew.

    8. The NIV translators did not use anything by the woman who was a lesbian; once they found out what she was her work was rejected..

    9. The remaining comments further reveal our friend’s lack of scholarship and Christian charity; he really does not know what he is talking about at all. I suggest that his comments are deleted and that this response remain for the benefit of anyone who may have been harmed by the extreme comments he has made. While he may have a fair point concerning the NIV’s accuracy in some places, his statements are over the top.

    Keep in mind that the apostle’s used the Greek Septuagint, a translation far inferior to either the NIV or KJV.

  14. Philip Boles (KJV-ite) February 27, 2008 at 7:03 pm #

    Mr. Ritchie…..
    I can accept your point of view and while we may differ on these issues it is important to remember what we have to whilst here on earth….witness to the unsaved so when the rapture comes and takes away the saved we are rerady and taken up with our glorious Lord Jesus Christ….. I would prefer if my valuble contribution to this debate were not removed as it shows a different side to the NIV crusade…..
    Sometimes the Bible version issues seems so overwhelming and I get tired of it myself sometimes, but the Lord keeps me going. Dear friend keep telling the truth. Yes, you’ll get a lot of “hot” folks but there will be the few (especially kids) who will listen. But then again, Paul warned Timothy that in the last days there would be a great falling away when men would no longer endure sound doctrine. Is this not that day? Just keep praying and doing what we know must be done….(and buy yourself a KJV to see the differnce it will make in your spiritual life if you are willing to give it a go)


  15. Daniel Ritchie February 28, 2008 at 12:33 am #

    Mr Boles

    Thank you for your measured response.

    Concerning your comments:
    “(and buy yourself a KJV to see the differnce it will make in your spiritual life if you are willing to give it a go).”

    It should be noted that I used the KJV exclusively for 5 years. While I do not deny that the translation has its good points, it did not help me using it; I found it very hard to memorize or meditate on, and do not believe that the translation is good for systematic study of the Scriptures. Though I do not for a single moment deny its literary excellence. FWIW, I am not the world’s biggest fan of the NIV, as I don’t like its dynamic equivalence or its unneccesary departures from the AV.

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